June 2011
Jun 1st
1 note
May 2011
May 31st
May 31st
771 notes
May 29th
12 notes
May 28th
69 notes
“The question that sometimes drives me hazy: Am I, or the others crazy?”
– Albert Einstein
May 27th
39 notes
11 tags
May 25th
7 tags
Laura Jones
Her: You sound like spam.
Me: I get that a lot.
May 24th
2 notes
May 23rd
63 notes
May 22nd
98 notes
11 tags
May 21st
6 notes
25 tags
Catharsis
There are times when one just needs to cry; times when screaming into a pillow, throwing punches, or eating a gallon of cookies ‘n cream just isn’t enough. So we watch a sappy movie, take a shower with the water on too hot, go to bed early and wait for the tears to come. We sit on the couch and watch “The Notebook” and patiently await the sweet tragic ending and cry...
May 21st
May 20th
4 notes
6 tags
Brittani Scott
Her: So my friends hecka liked you :)
Me: It was the sexy popcorn. Works every time.
May 19th
1 note
7 tags
May 19th
2 notes
4 tags
May 18th
129 notes
5 tags
May 15th
780 notes
4 tags
“I’m still evolving. I’m not a finished product. I have this thing...”
– Fatima Esmail
May 14th
8 notes
7 tags
The Cremation of Sam McGee
There are strange things done ‘neath the midnight sun By the men who moil for gold. The arctic trails have their secret tales That would make your blood run cold. The northern lights have seen queer sights But the queerest they ever did see, Was that night on the marge of Lake LeBarge When I cremated Sam McGee. Now Sam McGee was from Tenessee Where the cotton blooms and blows. Why he left...
May 14th
May 14th
3 notes
3 tags
May 12th
1 note
20 tags
Munchausen by Proxy
Don’t call me past eleven PM. It won’t happen again. It happened once, it happened twice, it happened three times, maybe four times, maybe five times, maybe, maybe happened six times, but it won’t happen seven times, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I’m not your late-night booty call. Don’t call me past eleven PM, it won’t happen again. You can call me...
May 11th
12 notes
14 tags
Letter to SAMSUNG
Dear SAMSUNG, Plain and simple: You suck and I hate you, liars. Elaborate and complicated: I bought my new phone the day it came out. I have to say, you guys did a fantastic job advertising and marketing the Samsung Galaxy S devices. I was the first person in the T-Mobile store the day it released. I was so excited. I forked out my $500 and got a smart-phone in return. The phone was loaded with...
May 10th
3 notes
11 tags
Justin Wilkinson
Me: Trying to go to the bathroom with sleep medication kicking in is so difficult.
Him: I just had a vision where you woke up by the toilet covered in poop and toilet paper.
Me: Not too far off. Except I somehow managed to make it to the floor right outside the bathroom. Skill.
May 5th
7 tags
Concrete Evidence that Men are Idiots
She liked me when I was short fat and pimply. Then I told her I didn’t want her.
May 4th
10 Things I Hate About You
“I hate the way you talk to me And the way you cut your hair I hate the way you drive my car I hate it when you stare I hate your big dumb combat boots And the way you read my mind I hate you so much that it makes me sick It even makes me ryhme I hate the way you’re always right I hate it when you lie I hate it when you make me laugh Even worse when you make me...
May 3rd
May 2nd
May 2nd
4 tags
“You can’t hide what’s in your heart.”
– John Coffey, The Green Mile
May 2nd
7 notes