May 2013
sunshineface0014:
assbutt-in-the-garrison:
I need my glasses to find my glasses do you see my problem
You can’t even see your problem
April 2013
skiphursh:
Watch
THAT’S HOW YOU GET A MAN
BACK OFF, BITCHES! THIS ONE’S MINE.
(I am working a morning shift at a cafe. We are serving breakfast. A little boy and his mother enter the cafe.)
Me: “So, what will it be?”
Child: “I WISH TO DEVOUR THE UNBORN.”
(There is a sudden silence and everyone turns to look. The mother looks very embarrassed.)
Mother: “Eggs… he would like some eggs…”
